HELLO FRIENDS!

Today is Valentine’s Day and this week is “Random Act of Kindness Week” with “Random Act of Kindness Day” falling on Thursday, February 17^th. It is basically a week full of LOVE and JOY. Is it for you? I had a bit of a reflection on what all of this means to me.

As a Life Enthusiast, I feel part of the DNA is being kind, and giving back is at the core. When I rebranded my business, I did all the work that I talk to my clients about. I figured out my career foundation – my values, my interests, and my skills. I very clearly saw a pattern emerging, as one does when you do the work!

It was clear that being of service in some way was important to me. Being able to find purpose in my career, and my life was paramount. Yet there was something weighing on me.

I am a person who has always been a people pleaser. Something I have been shamed for and felt shame about it. As confident as I am in life, I always felt, “am I being true to myself or I am just doing what I am doing to make someone else happy?” Being authentic is one of my key values so I knew it was something I needed to put the work into in order to live as close to my values as possible.

I have been working through this in therapy for years and recently when my therapist asked me “Why don’t you love yourself as much as you love…” I felt seen. I realized THAT was at the core of my people-pleasing issue. I have never really loved myself more than I have loved other people in my life. I didn’t feel worthy of love and as a result, I always felt that if I didn’t put others’ needs before my own, I was being selfish. Not sure where I got that. A bit of being Virgo. A bit of my Type A personality. Perfectionism is dangerous, and one that is rooted in shame (thanks Brené Brown!) Whatever caused it for me it was definitely something at almost 50 (gulp) years of age I needed to do the work on because feeling worthy of love and being kind to yourself is everything.

I have been doing the work and a few weeks ago I had a “moment” and by “moment” I mean, I had a full-out emotional breakdown. I knew it was connected to do all the work I had been doing on myself including setting boundaries which involved paring down who I followed on social media as an example. As a people-pleaser boundaries and removing people from my social didn’t make me feel great at first. But in the work of trying to love myself more, it was one I needed to do for my own well-being. It wasn’t selfish. It was authentic to what I needed to feel better. I also needed a break. So I took one from social media and I journaled my feelings out. And do you know what, it worked! I felt calmer and more at peace. I did something for me versus worrying what other people would think about it. It was a big step for me. Like most things in life, working on this will be a journey, but I think a critical one because as much as sharing my love and kindness is a big part of who I am (and that will never stop) I also deserve that love and kindness.

In this week of love and sharing kindness I say, START WITH YOURSELF! Or at the very least, don’t forget about yourself. There is nothing wrong with caring for others as long as you don’t lose yourself in the process. It is all about balance.

I recently came across this great book that tied into what I have been feeling and I have added it to the Life Enthusiast Book Club. I bought it to read to my 3 (almost 4) year old Godson and my 1 (almost 2) year old niece for our virtual Storytime. I think it is a bit too old for that age group but I definitely think it is a book into which they will grow. I feel like it is one of those all-ages books and it has great messages around love and kindness. Check out The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse.

If you are looking for some great ways to participate in Random Act of Kindness Week (February 13-29, 2022) and Random Acts of Kindness Day (February 17, 2022) Check out the Random Act of Kindness Foundation.

In this week of love and kindness, my wish is that you give and receive both, to those you love and for yourself. As a Life Enthusiast I will continue to live life to the fullest and share my journey, the good times, and the not-so-good times, in hopes it inspires others to live their life fully and authentically with the knowledge that they are not alone.