22 Aug The In-Between
HELLO FRIENDS!
I talk about the “in-between” a lot in my blogs.
Heck, I have even incorporated it into my upcoming Podcast title: Becoming a Life Enthusiast: My Journey of hope, joy and all the “stuff” in-between.
So what the heck does “in-between” mean?!
Different things for different people.
For me, living with cancer, I consider the “in-between” the time between my surveillance periods.
I used to verbalize that period of my life as “life chunks” and once my surveillance period was over, I would call it “my permission to live my next life chunk.”
I cringe when I revisit that phrasing, but that is EXACTLY how I viewed it in the spirit of living as authentically as I can.
I would be full of stress and anxiety during my surveillance period, and then when I got the “all good until next time” I would live. Until my surveillance period would approach and I would start the cycle all over again.
It was not a healthy way to look at it. Chunking your life until you are given “permission” to live.
But that was how I felt, and sometimes still feel, but I’ve had to snap myself out of it because I know it isn’t good for me.
Let me show you a very inspirational Instagram Post from @itskellycrump that I saw the other day which inspired this post:
As someone who has very proudly rebranded herself as a Life Enthusiast I recognized my surveillance behaviour didn’t live up to that title.
As Kelly suggested in her post “are you living from scan to scan or are your planning life?”
I was living from scan to scan.
So although I have an “in-between” that will never go away, how I approach it now is very different.
I live life: the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. It is all life. My life.
I will always have stress and anxiety about my surveillance period, that is SO NORMAL. But I will never again wait for permission to live my life. EVER.
So as we approach my next surveillance period my anxiety is already rising. Especially because I am at 4 years since my last cancer recurrence. I have never gone 4 years without a recurrence. So this one is an extra stressful one for me. But that’s life, right?
You don’t have to have a chronic illness to feel these types of feelings.
We all have stressors in our life.
To help me get through my scanxiety of my surveillance periods I use all the strategies I learn from my therapy. I also think of all the “sayings” that might sound cheesy but work for me, such as, “This too will pass” or “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” Whatever works for you I say!
I also focus on the very simple fact that: I want to live.
It isn’t that simple, I understand. But it is part of my mantra that keeps me going.
This summer has been full of “living” moments for me, and we are coming into my favourite season, FALL (NOT pumpkin spice season people, Sorry Not Sorry!) so I have a lot of thoughts for upcoming living moments I want to experience!
I also have a few great “life” things plans DURING my surveillance period (which is pretty much the month of September LOL) because that is also what helps me to keep on keeping on! It is also one of my therapy strategies for my scanxiety, staying busy!
The Terry Fox run on September 15th, 2024 is one of the things that will keep me busy during this time.
Team 4CHIP is a team I created 17 years ago after my Dad died. We participate in numerous races, raising money for charities near and dear to my Dad. In the last 17 years, we have raised over $125,000 (and counting!) for various charities. The Terry Fox Foundation has been our charity recipient for the last few years.
Why do we keep coming back to Terry Fox?
Lots of reasons and one of the main ones is that the money Terry Fox’s Foundation has raised for cancer research is significant.
I consider it one of the reasons I can LIVE my life with my cancer diagnosis.
The Terry Fox Research Institute (TFRI) has done so much for our cancer community:
- $29.3M invested in cancer research
- 97 cancer research projects
- 353 funded researchers
I can’t think of a more important place to raise funds for. The fact that it falls during my surveillance period is even more special.
I can’t control my cancer BUT I can control how I live with it and raising $ for my community to help fund research and hopefully, one day a cure, is EVERYTHING!
If you can donate to help us reach our goal, it would be appreciated:
This year’s theme for the Terry Fox Run is #NoMatterWhat
Despite my illness. I plan to live my life fully. My way. No Matter What
"Even though it was so difficult, there was not another thing in the world I would rather have been doing."
Fall is fast approaching (Starbucks jus released their Pumpkin Spice so it much be true! But also TOO SOON Starbucks!) and the Fall Edition of the Life Enthusiast Newsletter is coming!!
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Please note: I am not an expert or professional in the field of cancer. I am simply someone who has gone through it and living with it, doing my best to offer you my experience and advice in hopes that it helps.
Love, Me 
